Sweden - Systembolagets and sky-high beer prices!

Alex and I board the plane to Malmö

In these harsh economic times, a cheap Ryanair flight for a new European venture has become a favourite pastime of mine. So after searching for somewhere to travel in the month of May, Malmö was decided upon, and along with three friends, Alex, Drew and Paul, a party-weekend was booked.

Or so we thought.

On researching a little bit about the Scandinavian country, we all expected our £s not to go very far, but having being used to this when travelling to other European countries, it was to be expected. There are always the cheap, backstreet joints that tempt the traveller with great drinks and food deals, even in Dublin.

A stress-free drive and park in Stansted, and the trip had started. With hip flasks tucked into our pockets, the Duty Free was an excellent way to start the trip, and two of the group were tempted to shell out £16 for a lovely bottle of 12-year-old Scotch. A few pints in the not-so-Wetherspoon's priced Windmill Wetherspoon's airside, and we were soon boarding our flight to the promised land.

On board, prosecco, beers and some mixers were ordered to complement our fine whisky, we were all feeling optimistic that no matter how pricey things were going to be, we were together in a group, the banter was flowing, and we would come back with good memories if not a little hungover.

They say the holiday begins on the flight over, and whilst we were all evidently well (gone) in the spirit (literally), the taxi ride from Malmö-Sturup Airport to our hotel was one experience we will never forget. (£50).

Upon realising that we were English, the taxi driver was quite blatantly desperate for some banter, as we found was rare in Malmö, and proceeded to have his own little 'rave' on the way to our hotel. (As the video below will show).

Singing, no hands on the wheel and generally having his own special 'Swedish turn' made us laugh, cry fearing for our lives, and wondering why he was so mental. Surely we can't be the highlight of his weekend??

Arriving at the hotel, which I have so far hid from you but now I will share, Ibis Malmö, left us pleasantly surprised. A budget hotel in the UK, but this one wasn't half bad, and came with its own Swedish Sauna downstairs. The rooms were amazing value for £50 a twin a night, and so we were all in super spirits.

That was until we went to the bar to begin our evening 'session'.

£7 a beer. (All amounts converted from the national currency, the Swedish Krona). Now I suppose it was a hotel bar so we didn't expect it to the THAT cheap. But Ibis - £7 a beer, for what is a 4cl beer may I add. We should have known what was coming. Anyway, two beers each later, we headed out to walk into town.

Alex - easily noticeable in his hideous pink polo shirt at Malmö Airport

Rushing to hit the bars for our 'big' night, we decided to wolf down some fast food, which was Burger King. Sadly this pretty much went on to become our 'restaurant of choice' for the weekend, not least because it was the most reasonable food we could afford. Taxi to the bars, Burger King working its way down, and we were already feeling considerably lighter in wallet.

Here is where the 'holiday review' ends. You've had it till now, but that was never my intention. Here's the story. Bar-bar-bar-bar-Burger King-bar-Club-bar-Burger King-Taxi-hotel - and two of the group go home the next day on an earlier flight, skint. Price of a bottle of beer ranged from £6 to £8, a pint anything up to £10.

The club - Etage. Good time had by all!

My personal story doesn't go further than spending around £200, including a £28 Jack Daniels and diet coke and a round of four cokes for £20 (I had the hip flask filled) but my poor friend Alex managed to spend his whole whack (that probably included a cheeky late night Burger King), predicted around £400 (he says). The club Etage was a great night, we all said it was banging, the Swedish men being terrible dancers which made us look amazing, (God help those poor Swedish females).

The dancing on stage and being ABSOLUTE LEGENDS doesn't need talking about (shhhh there's wives and girlfriends here), neither does one friend (he will remain nameless, but it wasn't Alex or Drew or me) getting ejected out of the club. But what does need talking about was our sorrow on the way home.

Sorrow for spending all our money, sorrow for Alex and Drew saying they are going to have to book an early flight (on his missus' credit card) as they had no money left.

And Paul and I had a lovely two-beer second night (plus the remains of 12-year-old Scotch, it was lovely). Before that we made a cheeky trip to the Western Union to draw out more money (guaranteed it wouldn't cost any more).

Alex and Paul - well on the way!

Me on the second night - steady away...

We were interested in finding out about the Systembolaget - apparently like an Argos of alcohol which, as supermarkets aren't allowed to sell in bulk, is your one-stop-shop for a party. It's all very strange, and quite why there can't just be a alcohol department within a supermarket confused us. We popped in, as if expecting something fantastic, and exited about three minutes later realising it was just a shop.

We woke the next day, got our two-man-paying taxi and realised....Sweden was a country ticked off the list, we may well do Stockholm in the future, but aren't going to rush.

Tale of the tape...

Alex -£400
Drew - £200
John  - £200 (excl hotel and flight)
Paul -  £200 (excl hotel and flight)